So lately there has been some drama on a web forum I participate in concerning a young woman who at age 19 has gotten pregnant and is making decisions on how she'd like her birth to go. A lot of people don't agree with her decision (Something to do with she'd like her boyfriend to catch the baby at the hospital when she delivers. Apparently the boyfriend is a farmer and has helped birth animals and she thinks it would be special if he caught the baby. Whatever. It's not my style, but I'll hardly judge her for that.) BUT what is getting me angry is that SO MANY people are critisizing her for being 19 and pregnant.
I'm 22. I'm pregnant. I TRIED to get pregnant. If I had my way this child would have been born 5 months ago! Am I ready to be a mother? As ready as I'll ever be. Do I know all the answers? No. Will I learn the same as any first time mother? Yes! I have no desire to go to college, get numerous degrees, have a powerful career, or anything other than BE A MOTHER. Now I get to do that for the rest of my life.
I understand why some women would decide to wait to have children. If they didn't find their husband until later, then why would they have children. If they truly wanted to explore their career options, then they should do that first. If a couple is focused on exploring the world then they should do that. It's all about priorities. I'd never say a woman is "stupid" for having a child in their 30's, so why would a woman in her 30's say that to me?
While I was trying to get pregnant I got MANY MANY comments of, "You're so young, you have plenty of time. Don't rush things. You have so much life ahead of you. Take your time" and every single one of those people were older than me. I never once had someone my age say, "WOAH you shouldn't have a child." I never had any of my family and friends say "I don't think you're ready to have kids."
Why do these older strangers think they know better for me than I do? Why is it that their "experience" is a license for them to insult me as a mature adult who has been making her own decisions for 5 plus years and making it just fine. I understand someone asking my motives to find out why I want a child to make a judgement. But for a 30-40-50-60 year old woman or man to just say, "You have so much life ahead of you, don't worry about that right now" is simply insulting. You don't know how much life I have anymore than I do. And If I live a nice long life, I'd rather live that life being a mother, grandmother, great grandmother than regret waiting because I'll never get a chance to know and have a real relationship with those following generations!
So yes, I'm 22. I'm pregnant. I'm married to the man I will be with for the rest of my life. I have a 30 year fixed rate mortgage on the house I'd like to live in until I die or my kids ship me off to a luxury community in Florida to live out my old age! ;) My life is as together as it's going to get. and I'm HAPPY. That's the important thing, isn't it?
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